25. Addiction pioneer Gitlow's insights are important

By Tom O'Connell

As modern science keeps trying to find "magic bullets" to deal with the brain chemistry of addicts, it is especially important to avoid thinking of medical advances as panaceas, and to stay in touch with the profound insights of such alcoholism & addiction pioneers as Dr. Stanley Gitlow of Mt. Sinai Hospital in New York.

When Dr. Gitlow first treated alcoholics he thought they must be insane to keep repeating the same self-destructive behavior. But eventually he realized that their addiction had a purpose. They were using alcohol as a way to cope with life. So the alcoholism was not completely mindless, although it appeared to be.

With this in mind, Dr. Gitlow revised his own thinking on addiction and devised the following definition: "Addiction is a disease in which any technique for adapting to life is used other than interpersonal relating." His emphasis is on "relating" because when we turn to any addiction to cope with life we seriously impair our ability to relate to self, others and God.

Although the addiction process includes physical, mental and spiritual aspects, the inability to relate lies at the core, so healthy recovery involves much more than changing brain chemistry. Reducing craving, for example, is only an early step in a long journey of self-development in which addicts not only stop drinking and drugging, they also develop a new way of life that serves as a foundation for healthy sobriety.

Dr. Gitlow, a strong advocate of Alcoholics Anonymous as a powerful recovery tool, notes that the alcoholic needs to "learn to relate to others in order to understand self." He says we learn by metaphors. "Your alcoholism teaches me about mine." So, in AA, people learn to listen to others' stories in order to better understand their own lives, and one of the key benefits of Twelve Step recovery programs is that they help people to follow Dr. Gitlow's advice: "Fracture the isolation."

Even in a crowd, addicts can feel isolated, and the more addicted they become the more isolated they become. Dr. Gitlow describes this isolation as "heartsickness." Addicts feel unloved, rejected, abandoned. So they are unable and unwilling to relate well to others, and this deepens the addiction to the point where they will probably end up in jail, a mental hospital, or in a cemetery...unless they have an awakening of the spirit that leads them into a program of recovery.

Being with kindred spirits provides an antidote for the tendency to isolate. Being with positive thinkers who have learned to live "one day at a time" helps members offset their own negative thinking. Being with courageous people who have remained sober despite major obstacles in life provides a power of example for addicts who lack self-esteem and are riddled with fear.

In the recovery process, people must learn to recognize their emotions and fears and honor them instead of trying to escape from them. Gitlow says, "Connect your thoughts to your feelings right away. What's this about? What's making me feel this way? Where did this feeling come from?" The next step is to share the feeling with another friend in recovery, and this leads to self-awareness and healing as recovering people provide a willing ear backed up by their own newly discovered compassion.

In this way, when the recovering addict feels the old familiar heartsickness, and feels pushed away or unloved, instead of choosing to drink or drug the next step is going to a meeting or calling a friend for emotional support. In the beginning, this is not easy. Old habits die hard. But persistence pays off.

Little by little, recovery helps a person with "adjustment." The addict learns how to adjust to life "on life's terms." And AA provides a school for this personal growth. So Dr. Gitlow, during his long career, encouraged alcoholics and other addicts to use Twelve Step recovery programs, and provided them with his "Rule of Ten" which changed many lives for the better:

1. Go to a Twelve Step meeting.

2. Never miss a meeting of your group.

3. Arrive first.

4. Always sit in the first row.

5. Say something.

6. Introduce yourself.

7. Volunteer to do something.

8. Stay for coffee, conversation, etc.

9. Leave last.

10. Never leave alone.

Alcoholic speaking: "How long do I have to do this?"

Dr. Gitlow: "Until you like it!"

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