11. The soul comes back into style in psychotherapy

By Tom O'Connell

"The Soul in Psychotherapy" was the title of the workshop sponsored by Albert Einstein College of Medicine last summer at its Cape Cod Institute. And it's good to see the soul coming into its own once again.

Not that the soul, the "immortal or spiritual part of the person,"  ever disappeared, but in the name of objectivity psychologists throughout much of this century tried to avoid issues connected with their clients' souls.

However, in recent years there's been a mounting return to including the soul as an important aspect of the human condition, even though the soul can't be directly observed, weighed, and measured. At last we're seeing a more holistic approach.

One strong proponent of emphasis on the soul is a man called Thomas Moore, author of the bestseller "Care of the Soul." And I went to his workshop at the Cape Cod Institute with an air of skepticism accompanying me. Why? Because I am immediately suspicious of any best-selling book that claims to have the answer to spiritual development neatly packaged in its pages. Spirituality isn't that simple.

But the presenter, dressed in black like a priest, impressed me. This man who once studied for 12 years in a monastery struck me as very authentic while he explained that the word "psyche" means "soul" and the word "therapy" comes from the Greek word "therapeia" meaning "service in the sanctuary of a god or goddess."

Although he was primarily addressing therapists, it became obvious to me that what he was saying had broader application. After all, in one way or another, as people with relatives, friends, and colleagues that we care about, we spend a good portion of our time being healers and being healed.

I was especially reminded of Twelve Step addiction recovery programs when he said, "The narrative is very important. The exploration of the fragments of the stories of our lives will let the soul come forth."

Our personal stories have healing power in them. When we get in touch with our own story we get to know who we really are. After all, what is our life but our story? And when we share it we heal ourselves and others.

The language we use in our stories is important too, says Moore, and he contends that during healing processes therapists are in "the language business." He provokes thought when he says, "What if we could hear more than what the person is speaking?" As we know, words are only part of the communication process. We also have the tone of voice, the manner, the body language, and our own peculiar defenses.

He explained that when we deal with the human personality, "It's a place that's bottomless, open-ended. It is never completely possible to do this work." The point is that the healing process is ongoing; it's a journey, not a destination. And a critical part of the journey is the recalling of "the story" and the telling of it.

Moore stresses the use of imagination too, even more than what we call truth. "I don't want the truth," he says candidly. "I'm afraid of anyone presenting the truth. This is about imagination. It's a matter of heart, the way we live."

Urging therapists to take imagination seriously in their healing work, he says, "Turn to poets, drama, stories and religion." Then he puts his own spin on the notion he's presenting. "We are playing around very seriously, but when we take it literally we lose the play."

Giving some examples of "serious play," he reminds us how priests and monks dress up in costumes. "Don't get too serious about it all," he cautions. And this reminds me of the Twelve Step message "Lighten up." Moore says, "No matter how bad it gets there's still that light of humanity, the divine comedy."

So there you have it. While discussing the serious subject of healing people who have suffered greatly in life, he stresses the need for lightness as an antidote to the heaviness of the hammering that life can deliver. And Moore seems to be practicing what he preaches. He has a calm, easygoing lightness about him, which resembles the serenity of many people who have been in addiction recovery a long time.

It's a sign of advanced recovery when someone can practice the slogan "Easy does it," and truly live "one day at a time." Maturing through the healing process, they've learned how toxic it is to take themselves too seriously. It's a form or mental drunkenness.

As Mark Twain once said, "Life is one damn thing after another." So why make a big deal out of everything that doesn't go our way? Twain could  see the humor in the heavy stuff. And we can learn some lessons from Mark Twain, the humorist, and Thomas Moore, the writer and lecturer who delivers healing messages.

We can lighten up, right? God gave us the gift of humor. So why not use it?

- Back -