12. Attention to the soul is critically important, says Thomas Moore

By Tom O'Connell

When I stand in line at the supermarket I notice magazine covers that lure us with 20 tips for doing this, and 14 ways to do something else. This appeals to our belief that  we can improve our own little world in a very logical fashion if we apply ourselves to the task. And there's always a self-appointed expert available to give us the list of things to do.

Best-selling author Thomas Moore did something similar at a recent workshop offered by Cape Cod Institute which is sponsored by the Albert Einstein College of Medicine. He provided a 10-point list of ways to tend to the needs of the soul.

Since writing "Care of the Soul," Moore has taken on the designation "soul man," and he carries it well. He's not materialistic, and it's hard to put a label on him. Let's just say he writes and gives workshops to help people grow spiritually. I think of him as a "philosopher," but at the workshop he said, "Philosophers try to peddle truth, and that always bothers me."

So instead of a philosopher peddling truth, let's call him a wise man who suggests ideas. At this workshop attended by psychotherapists he provided 10 ways to tend the soul. I find them interesting, and relevant, and I think we all can benefit from them:

1) Love from a deep place. Moore says most of our institutions don't provide the atmosphere for this kind of loving. He says they're "horizontal," and we need to go deeper with our relationships, whether at work or elsewhere. Or life becomes superficial.

2) Read only beyond your depth...do spiritual reading. He advises us to avoid reading anything that won't take us to a deeper place. Obviously, few current books or periodicals accomplish that for us. His own view is, "If it's been written in the last 100 years, don't read it." Of course, if we took him to heart, we wouldn't read his stuff, or mine either. So maybe we can make some exceptions.

3) Have a few friends in whom you can confide. Citing the philosopher Epicurus, Moore says friendship should top our list of pleasures, whether these friendships are in the home and family, at work, or in avocations. "The soul needs to be fed and nourished," he urges. And deep friendships can do that for us.

4) See through the honors, the credentials. He cautions against getting caught in the "credential syndrome" and various "honors." Healthy relating is more important than the credentials and transcends all status symbols. In fact, the status symbols get in the way.

5) Be an individual. Moore quotes Emerson: "Nothing is more rare in any person than an act of his own." Moore says the "fantasy of normalcy" can be a way to avoid being an individual. He urges people to value their own "residing spirit." In other words, to thine own self be true. Just be yourself. What else do you have to offer that's meaningful?

6) Work as hard as you wish but not to the point of being busy. He says, "We can do what we want to do intensely without leaving the soul behind." He also says, "We need madness of the spirit! Live passionately, in the extreme." He doesn't tell us to become addicted, but paradoxically, immersion in addiction has led many in recovery to passionate and healthy living. We can learn from our extremes.

7) Make eros, not logos, your driving force. In striving to be very reasonable, Moore believes we have neglected eros. He contends, "Eros is the center, the moving force or the life of the soul...where desire is, the soul will be present." Love, deep love, is powerful, vital, energizing, and necessary.

8) Tend your home and let it influence everything you do, and let it be your anchor. "Tending the home is very valuable to the soul, including caulking and fixing." I enjoy the way he brings his philosophy right down to earth, giving us a connection between the higher realms and the basic survival stuff.

9) Be a sexual person in your own way and in your own time. "We're sexual people in everything we do," says Moore, who urges us to live and work "with intimacy, closeness...This might mean not being preoccupied with sex, finding ourselves outside the usual notion of sex." He's talking about more than physical sex. "Eros," he says, "should be creative, not obsessive." And his advice about this area of life is, "Lighten up."

10) Live a religious life and live a secular life, both with passion and piety. "The search for values, ethics, a sense of meaning and relationship to the sublime does not contradict a strong, robust secular life." In living the life of the soul, Moore contends,  "Goals and objectives make no sense." And he gives us  a rule of thumb: "Never take things as they are presented; turn it your own way."

Thomas Moore is prodding us into " being real, being a genuine person." And just as he tells therapists that "counseling is care of the soul," I want to suggest that all of us have the opportunity to care for each other's souls. Each of us plays the role of therapist.

So we can all benefit from these 10 suggestions, along with the hundreds of other suggestions that come to us through people like Thomas Moore, who remind us that the "residing spirit" in each of us needs attention, needs care, needs love. And these needs exist not only in the home, but in the workplace and every other place.

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