38. Al-Anon empowers people to change

By Tom O'Connell

As human beings who often prefer the status quo even when we know we should make a change, we can find ourselves stuck in situations that harm us. Yet we will stay there because we fear the alternative. "What if..."

More than a half century ago Al-Anon began to empower loved ones of alcoholics to improve their lives. Sometimes they needed to choose acceptance. Other times they needed to develop the courage to make changes. So attitudes had to be adjusted. 

In 1992 the Al-Anon Family Groups produced a book that has helped countless people to look at change as a healthy possibility. The book "Courage to Change" is a companion volume to the "One Day at a Time in Al-Anon" book. Both books are read by thousands of Al-Anon members for daily inspiration. And many other people who are not exposed to active alcoholism have found these books helpful too.

The January 3 reading goes like this: "I am writing my life story with every single today. Am I moving in a positive direction? If not, perhaps I need to make some changes. I can do nothing to change the past except stop repeating it in the present. Going to Al-Anon meetings and practicing the principles of the program are some of the ways in which I am already breaking out of unhealthy and unsatisfying patterns of the past."

This reading also has some words about "little everyday accomplishments." And it suggests, "Taking some tiny action each day can be much more effective than weeks and months of inactivity followed by a frenzied attempt to make radical changes overnight. It certainly leaves me more serene."

Do I have to deal with all the clutter in my house and car all at once? Or can I work on it a little each day and then try to maintain some semblance of order on a daily basis?  Why do I need to exhaust myself in my rush to make changes? Sometimes do I even rush so I can have the time to be serene?

In the "Today's reminder" section the reading says, "No one can make me change. No one can stop me from changing. No one really knows how I must change, not even I. Not until I start. I will remember that it only takes a slight shift in direction to begin to change my life."

At the bottom of each page there is a quote from a wise person. On January 3 the quote is from the ancient Chinese sage Lao-tse: "The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step."

Are you ready to take that step? And the next one?

Al-Anon is the kind of place where you can go for mutual support when you are struggling with the need to change. By hearing others' stories you can gain inspiration. And you will also have a place to share what's going on in your own life.

Although many people come to Al-Anon in desperation due to alcoholism in a loved one, many stay long after the problem has been resolved. Why? They realize that it isn't just the crisis situations that can distort one's thinking. Everyday happenings can do it too. So they come to Al-Anon to share experience, strength and hope.

What's the requirement for joining Al-Anon?  "...a problem of alcoholism in a relative or friend." What's alcoholism? There are many definitions. The simplest one is "when alcohol is causing a problem in a person's life."

One reading in "Courage to Change" goes like this: "I didn't cause alcoholism. I can't control it. And I can't cure it." Then the reading suggests that we can "let Al-Anon help me to redirect the energy" spent on trying to battle the other person's disease.

Since most people have a friend, loved one, or co-worker who is having some kind of a problem with alcohol, then isn't attending Al-Anon a healthy choice for many people?

Just look up Al-Anon in your phone directory, make the call, and ask about meetings in your area. Why not try Al-Anon? All you've got to lose is your confusion.

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