43. The warning signs of alcoholism relapse aid recovery

By Tom O'Connell

Many people quit drinking...for a while. Then they relapse into the old familiar behavior. It's easy to quit...for a while. But staying quit is another matter. And much of it has to do with these statements in Chapter Two of "Alcoholics Anonymous," otherwise known as The Big Book: "...the main problem of the alcoholic centers in his mind....There is the obsession that somehow, someday, they will beat the game....The fact is that most alcoholics, for reasons yet obscure, have lost the power of choice in drink. Our so-called will power becomes practically nonexistent. We are unable, at certain times, to bring into our consciousness with sufficient force the memory of the suffering and humiliation of even a week or a month ago. We are without defense against the first drink."

That first drink often leads to trouble for the alcoholic. And that's why one of AA's most popular slogans is "Just Don't Drink." The Big Book continues, "The almost certain consequences that follow taking even a glass of beer do not crowd into the mind to deter us. If these thoughts occur, they are hazy and are readily supplanted with the old threadbare idea that this time we shall handle ourselves like other people. There is a complete failure of the kind of defense that keeps one from putting his hand on a hot stove."

This wisdom from the pioneers of AA more than 50 years ago has stood the test of time. And over the years other researchers have looked into relapse and gathered various warning signs of relapse to help recovering alcoholics stay on track.

One major sign of potential relapse is a feeling of fear and uncertainty about the ability to stay sober. That's why mutual help groups like AA are so important. Confidence is increased by attending meetings of kindred spirits. Healthy confidence, not arrogance or fear, enhances recovery.

Another sign of relapse is the denial that a potential problem is developing. This is much like the denial during active alcoholism when a person thinks she has no problem even though she's in a downward spiral toward destruction.

Paradoxically, a rigid commitment to sobriety is also a warning sign. When a person says "I'll never drink again" and believes it, there's less need to go to meetings. What's the healthy slogan used in meetings? "One day at a time."

Another warning sign is the compulsive attempt to impose sobriety on other people. This is a shift from minding one's own business (Live and let live) to focusing more on what other people are doing, or should be doing.

Defensiveness about one's progress in recovery is also a sign of possible relapse. Humility about progress works well, but defensiveness or being offensive does not.

Compulsive behaviors in other aspects of life are warning signs too. Being impulsive. Monopolizing conversations. Withdrawing into silence. Overwork. Lack of spontaneity with other people. Various excesses such as these set people up for relapse. The slogan is "Easy does it." 

The tendency toward loneliness is a warning sign also. Old patterns of isolation and avoidance may emerge. For example, watching television or getting lost on the Internet instead of going to meetings and interacting with other human beings. The excuses for isolation usually sound reasonable, but can lead to the state of mind indicated by the slogan "Stinking thinking." Responsible involvement with other people is necessary for a healthy recovery, and mutual help groups provide the insights that lead to clear thinking and healthy approaches to daily living.

Tunnel vision is a problem too. This is when recovering people start looking at their lives in isolated fragments. They become preoccupied with one area of life while not paying attention to others. Sometimes this preoccupation can be positive on the surface, like getting exercise or recreation. But too much of a good thing can set up a delusion that the person is well balanced when the opposite is true.

Obviously, it's also tunnel vision when a person becomes preoccupied with negativity and plays the role of victim. In either case, relapse is creeping closer when a person gets out of emotional balance. Balance is a vital goal in recovery, and anything that disturbs it needs to be dealt with.

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