44. Warning signs useful to avoid alcoholism relapse

By Tom O'Connell

It's the most natural thing in the world to relapse into old addictive behaviors. And members of spiritually based Twelve Step programs know this. So, since their unaided will has often let them down before, they turn to a Higher Power for help. Addiction is powerful, and its craving can seem irresistible at times. Yet when it seems that no power on earth can help, a Higher Power can provide the necessary help.

The tendency to relapse into doing what's self-destructive is there in all of us, but the severity may differ. Let's say I'm on a diet, but someone offers me my favorite dessert. "Well, I'll just have a bite." The bite turns to several bites. Who ever heard of having just a little strawberry shortcake? Hey, why not a second helping? That's relapse. And whether it's a drink or a dessert, the first taste sets off a chain reaction, and the craving  builds.

The craving phenomenon can be triggered when an alcoholic or other kind of addict is challenged emotionally in some way, and thrown off balance. It matters little what the challenge is. It could be stress, the weather, something good, something bad, or just about anything at all. We can call these "triggers."

Relapse can be triggered by depression, letting one's life get muddled, idle daydreaming, wishful thinking, general listlessness, or a feeling of hopelessness about solving problems. It can also be triggered by "self-will run riot" and the unbridled wish to be happy and not accept the vicissitudes of life.

Relapse can also be attracted by periods of confusion, irritability and anger. Irregular self-care can cause problems too. Like not enough exercise, nutrition and rest. We need ongoing exercise, proper food, and a stable pattern of rest.

We need structure in our lives too, and when we lose it we can be thrown off balance. Regularity in attending mutual help group meetings such as AA helps provide the needed structure while giving powerful therapy to help stabilize emotions.

Apathy is a problem too. "Why bother? Who cares?" Withdrawal from others and a rejection of their help can lead to isolation, a dangerous place for an addict to live in. General dissatisfaction with life is a relapse trigger too. It may lead to self-pity. "Poor me, poor me, pour me a drink." We can lose ourselves in tunnel vision, rationalization, and wishful thinking. And we can make our lives so unmanageable that the only solution seems to be a return to addiction for relief.

Although powerlessness over the effects of alcohol after taking the first drink is an important principle for alcoholics to remember, the Creator did not design us to be powerless over the many choices we must make in our lives. So generalized feelings of powerlessness and helplessness are to be shunned. They are  relapse triggers.

Obviously, dwelling on the possibility of doing social drinking again can lead to relapse. What we think usually leads to what we do. So entertaining such thoughts is a dangerous trigger. Dishonesty is a powerful relapse trigger too. When lying is used as a way of dealing with the challenges of life, an inner conflict is set up which causes so much discomfort that returning to the booze may seem to be the right next step.

Loss of self-confidence is a trigger too. For many alcoholics, the liquid nectar was often used to build confidence, and the feeling may linger deep inside that when things get rough there's a way to get relief, at least for a while.

Resentments, in AA, are considered the number one offender when one is trying to lead a balanced, spiritual life. So "justified anger" and ongoing resentment should be treated as poisons that can lead to relapse.

Discontinuing treatment is an obvious trigger too. Examples are stopping mutual help meetings, terminating therapy even though it still may be needed, not taking vital prescription medication, and giving up friendships that provide emotional support.

Key words to consider when thinking about relapse are "overwhelming loneliness," "frustration," "anger," and "tension." When these feelings take over it may seem that the only way out is to go back to the addictive behaviors for relief.

Another problem for alcoholics, and for other substance addicts, is the illusion that one can return to "controlled" consumption.. This self-destructive illusion can be maintained even though the concept proved to be a failure hundreds of times before.

The inevitable result of controlled drinking, for real alcoholics, is the loss of control. But one does not have to reach that point if a person will simply use the "tools" provided by recovery programs. These tools include meetings, close friendships, inspirational reading, prayer, meditation, and a closer walk with the Higher Power. 

So, let's end this column with a repetition of the opening words. It's the most natural thing in the world to relapse back into old addictive behaviors. And members of spiritually based Twelve Step programs know this. So, since their unaided will has let them down before, they turn to a Higher Power for help. Addiction is powerful, and its craving can seem irresistible at times. Yet, when it seems that no power on earth can help, a Higher Power can provide the necessary help.

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