47. Is compulsive shopping an addiction?

By Tom O'Connell

"When all else fails, go shopping." During the Holiday Season excuses for compulsive shopping abound. After all, the gifts are for other people...most of the time. Then there are the times when we say, "Well, this is so nice I think I'll get one for myself too." And the debt climbs. And the urge to shop continues.

One of the interesting things about compulsive shopping is that it's easy to deny its addictive qualities. Hey, after all, it's not alcoholism, drug addiction, overeating, or addictive sex. What can be wrong with a little shopping? I don't do it alone. There are hundreds of other people around when I'm doing it. And it's social, isn't it? I meet such nice people across the counters and in the aisles.

Let's go back to the definitions of addiction and see if this one qualifies. "A condition of unhealthy dependence on behaviors that impair my ability to function to full potential." "When any technique for adapting to the problems of life is used, other than healthy interpersonal relating."

Do I go shopping because I feel lonely? Am I doing it to offset frustration or disappointment? Do I shop to relieve boredom? Do I do it because I'm feeling misunderstood? Am I shopping because I get more attention in the marketplace than I do anywhere else? Am I buying things I can't afford to enhance my ego?

Then we have the Five Cs of addiction: Craving, Compulsion, Loss of Control, and Continuing the behavior in spite of life-damaging Consequences. Does my craving build up at certain times the same way the craving for chocolate or a drink builds up? Do I feel driven to go shopping even when I realize it's not appropriate? Do I lose control over my shopping once I start buying things? Do I continue the behavior even though I am feeling guilty about it and know that I am increasing my debt while using shopping to cope with issues in my life that need to be resolved in other ways?

Some other questions that may fit the situation: Do I defend my behavior through rationalization? Do I deny what I'm doing even though it's obvious? Do I need to buy more and more to satisfy my craving? Do I get withdrawal symptoms when I'm in between buying binges?

I have a friend who once used to visit the Banana Republic in Cambridge and walk out of there with enough outfits to clothe a movie star, or prepare a person for a long safari in Africa. A few days later she would get second thoughts and bring most of the clothes back. Her pattern was to give in to the impulsive craving, and then think it over and retrace her steps when the debt made her anxious..

Do you get anxious when you haven't been shopping lately? Does spending ease your tension...for a while? Do you feel very happy when you're shopping and then get a sinking feeling as you leave the mall? Do you have a closet full of clothes you've never worn? Does shopping affect your job performance because you arrive late due to shopping or leave early to shop? Do you feel strange if you go home empty-handed? Do you overdo it when you give gifts on various occasions, even though you realize a simple inexpensive gift would do?

Well, I'm not saying that you are a compulsive shopper. But if you can relate to some of these questions and they make you wonder about your shopping behavior, you may be on the way to identifying one more addiction that people use to try to fill the inner emptiness that can't be filled with people, places, and things. 

You may need to review your spending habits, and the underlying issues that trigger this excessive behavior. And you may even need to visit a mental health professional to share what's been going on. Also, you may look for a support group of some kind where kindred spirits have similar problems and help each other through sharing experience, strength and hope. In addition, you can utilize the literature alcoholics and other addicts use, and simply substitute "shopping" for key words such as "alcohol."

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