48. Gratitude is a key to recovering from addiction and other losses

(Holiday Season emphasis)

By Tom O'Connell

During a Holiday Season it's important to remember a piece of advice that has long been taught in mutual help groups. It's the notion that an attitude of gratitude is a vital prevention tool for a recovering person who doesn't want to relapse into the old self-destructive behavior. That's a fine idea for recovering people, and others who have sustained losses, to remember during the Holidays.

Although the Holidays abound with wonders of color and sound, along with  opportunities for healthy celebration, it's also a time when many people are drawn into  memories of past losses. That can take the cheerful edge off the Holidays, and may even lead to what we call "the holiday blues."

However, since we create many of our own moods by entertaining thoughts and imagining scenes of all kinds, we can choose to entertain pleasant and healthy thoughts instead of dismal and destructive ones.

In recovery from the various addictions, one of the important slogans is "An Attitude of Gratitude." It's an antidote for negativity.   

The English writer Samuel Johnson wrote, "Gratitude is a fruit of great cultivation; you do not find it among gross people." Instead of "gross" we can insert the words "actively addicted." People who are actively addicted always want more, and it's difficult for them to be grateful for anything. But when the thinking shifts to "Less is better," an attitude of gratitude has a chance to develop.

The German dramatist G. E. Lessing wrote, "One single grateful thought raised to heaven is the most perfect prayer." What a powerful statement that is. Actually, in addiction recovery people do learn to appreciate simple things, the everyday gifts that come with life, and they work at developing the habit of thanking their Higher Power for each gift, no matter how small.

We always have a choice when it comes to thinking. We can focus on the part of the glass of liquid that's empty or the part that's full. It's a matter of perspective, and attitude.

All too often, the choice of pessimism and negativity is a habit among addicts. It's one that needs to be overcome. In AA's book "Living Sober," there's a fascinating line that points to this situation: "We can also display a weird flair for expanding a minor annoyance into a whole universe of gloom."

Here's the advice that follows: "We need to pull out of our self-absorption, stand back, and take a good, honest look at ourselves. Once we recognize self-pity for what it is, we can start to do something about it other than drink."

We could also insert the words "other than overeat" or words describing other addictive behaviors we turn to when life doesn't go the way we want it to.

"Living Sober" recommends attending meetings, talking with friends, and the use of humor. It also suggests making a gratitude list and including in it such items as health, friends, sunny weather, a good meal, a good hour's work, a good book to read, and other items "to outbalance the debit entries that cause self-pity."

The anonymous author also suggests using this approach to combat the holiday blues. Instead of concentrating on what's been lost, people can focus on the loved ones who are still around, the blessings they have, and the ability to give and receive love.

Bill Wilson, co-founder of AA, stressed the need for gratitude: "We AAs are unbelievably fortunate people; fortunate that we have suffered so much; fortunate that we can know, understand, and love each other so surprisingly well."

Wilson also wrote, "I try to hold fast to the truth that a full and thankful heart cannot entertain great conceits. When brimming with gratitude, one's heartbeat must surely result in outgoing love, the finest emotion that we can ever know."

In another one of his writings he tells about a clergyman who says, "Your misfortune has become your good fortune. You AAs are a privileged people."

Like recovering people, the pioneers who settled this country centuries ago also had hardships during their journey to a new way of life, yet they retained grateful hearts. On the journey of addiction recovery, and recovery from various losses, a grateful heart is extremely important. Also, a light spirit helps.

Enjoy the journey!

- Back -