14. Obsession and compulsion at the core of addiction

 By Tom O'Connell

Obsession and compulsion are important factors found at the core of the addictions. In obsession we are haunted by our thoughts and find ourselves thinking repeatedly about things we don't want to think about. A compulsion is a strong feeling that we must act in some way to relieve the anxiety triggered by our obsessive thinking.

When a food addict can't get the idea of chocolate out of her head, she's in the grip of obsession. And when she feels driven to go out late at night to a convenience store to satisfy the impulse, she's being compulsive. The two factors of obsession and compulsion are intimately connected, and that makes it difficult to quit an addiction. Our thoughts and impulses can push us back to the obsessive compulsive behavior we were trying to stop.

Some psychologists see obsessive compulsive disorders as a mental problem apart from addiction, yet they focus on the rituals an obsessive compulsive person repeats in an attempt to relieve inner discomfort. I don't see a substantial difference between compulsive hand washing and compulsive drinking, drugging, or eating. Aren't the repetitive behaviors all part of the same tendency to want to gain relief from inner discomfort? To deal with that feeling of inner emptiness? To fill the hole in the doughnut?

One definition of addiction is "any unhealthy dependence that impairs our ability to function to our potential." Another is "any technique used to adapt to the problems of life other than interpersonal relating." So any repetitive behavior we turn to instead of healthy relating can start a downward spiral from habit to addiction.

If an action brings relief, it may soon shift from a moderate routine to an unhealthy dependence, i.e. addiction. If I like to have clean hands and wash them a couple of times a day, that's no problem. But if I'm terrified about being contaminated by bacteria, and I repeat my handwashing until it impairs my ability to function in a healthy way, then I'm caught in obsessive compulsive behavior. And my ritual fits the definitions of addiction.

Addictive rituals are practiced by smokers, overeaters, gamblers, alcoholics, workaholics, drug addicts, neat freaks, and control fanatics. When we're anxious and an action brings temporary relief we may repeat an action until it takes on a life of its own. Once we're hooked, we feel uncomfortable when we're not getting our fix. We're addicted.

If we do something moderately and it doesn't impair our relationships with self, others, and God it's not an addiction. It's just a habit. And good habits can help us to be healthy. It's when habits get out of control and become life-damaging that we're in trouble. 

It's common for people who live with various kinds of addicts to develop their own habits in an attempt to cope with inner discomfort. And habits like compulsive worrying can be just as life-damaging as what the beloved addicts are doing. That's why loved ones of addicted people choose to go to groups like Al-Anon to improve their mental health.

Since there are times when it seems that no power on earth can heal a situation,  Twelve Step programs suggest attending meetings to get support, and practicing prayer and meditation. A connection to a Higher Power can provide deep healing. But can meetings, prayer, and meditation be addictive? If these behaviors are life-enhancing and not life-damaging, they're not addictions. They're simply healthy habits. Enough said?

- Back -