36. Addiction to "debting" is challenging

By Tom O'Connell

We've all heard of drinking, drugging, gambling and overeating as prevalent addictions, but debting can be an addictive way of life too. After all, the consumer emphasis in our country relies on the use of personal credit to keep the economic engine fueled, and easy credit sets us up for purchasing temptations. "Just do it." "No money down." "No first payment till next year." "Charge it!" 

I recall when "Fly now, pay later," was a new idea. And I was raised with people who avoided credit like the plague. They saved up to buy things they needed. So the only credit they ever used was a mortgage to purchase a home, and they weren't happy until they paid off that mortgage. Now there are few people who expect to be mortgage free, or who drive a car that's fully paid for. Debting is the norm, not the exception.

How about you? Are you in the red? Do this month's bills pile up before you've paid last month's? Do you regularly receive past-due notices? Do the total amounts on your revolving charge accounts keep steadily rising? If you answer yes to these questions, don't feel isolated. Author Jerrold Mundis, in his 1987 book "How to Get Out of Debt, Stay Out of Debt & Live Prosperously," estimated that forty million Americans "face the same problem and live under the same daily stress." And I imagine the number of indebted Americans has risen in the past decade.

Mundis, who based his book on the principles and techniques of Debtors Anonymous, says "compulsive debting" is when "you repeatedy incur new debt despite the negative emotional and financial consequences that follow." A bit less serious is the condition of "problem debting," which means your debts are causing you trouble, but you're not as seriously impaired as the compulsive debtor yet. Finally, there is "reasonable debting," which means your debts are not causing you any real trouble on any level.

Mundis describes "debt" as any amount of cash you borrow without putting up collateral.; any credit extended to you; and any service you take without paying for it the moment you receive it. Common examples of debt are charging retail purchases, using a credit card at the gas station, charging your dinner with your Visa, borrowing from a friend to tide you over, paying the dentist over several months, and getting behind on rent. Other areas where we can fall behind are the phone, utilities, taxes, child support, tuition, credit card bills, charge account statements, and fuel bills.

According to Mundis, the core of the problem is this: "Repeated debt results from  dysfunctional or distorted attitudes and perceptions about money and self." Often these attitudes and perceptions hover beneath the surface but can rule us like a dictator. They include believing we don't understand money, using money as a mood changer, feeling entitled, believing one is not worth much, flights of grandiosity, the belief that money is evil, the need to buy other people's love, waiting for a big raise or the lottery, the clenched fist syndrome that keeps money from flowing, and the feeling that "I'm a special case."

Compulsive debting is more complicated than it would first seem to be. But in its essence it is simply one more addiction. It's one more example of unhealthy dependence on behaviors that impair our ability to function to full potential. And it needs to be dealt with.

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