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37.
Compulsive debting resembles alcoholism By
Tom O'Connell Many
years ago a chart was developed to track the progressive deterioration
of untreated alcoholism. It also tracks the route back to health.
Interestingly, the resemblance between alcoholism and compulsive debting
is striking. The
alcoholic starts out taking a drink to relieve tension, and may not go
to extremes. Likewise for the debtor. "Let's replace those old
kitchen cabinets. They're really outmoded." At first the debting
may be reasonable and the monthly payments modest. Then comes giving in
to increasing temptation, doing more spending, allowing debts to
escalate, and feeling anxious about meeting payments. The
alcoholic becomes preoccupied with the next drink; the debtor obsesses
about the next purchase. And then comes the "loss of control"
phase. For the alcoholic it leads to drunkenness, and for the debtor it
leads to plunging in over one's financial head. For
the debtor there's a growing urgency about purchases, which is similar
to the alcoholic's craving that leads to excessive drinking. Then comes
increasing dependence on debting as a way to deal with moods. At this
point there may be some sneaky spending just as the alcoholic does
sneaky drinking. Alcoholics
are afflicted by guilt, and so are compulsive debtors. When efforts to
put a lid on the spending are unsuccessful, the debts mount and so does
the guilt. Isolation is part of the picture too, shown by the inability
to discuss the problem with loved ones. We
shouldn't forget grandiosity either. This trait is found in many
alcoholics as well as compulsive debtors. "Hey, you only go this
way once! Let's get the Mercedes. Don't we deserve it? And how about a
swimming pool? If the Smiths can afford one, why can't we? And what
about the country club? Sure, the dues are high, but what's the point of
living if we can't socialize with our peers?" As
the addiction deepens the compulsive debtor deteriorates, just as the
alcoholic does. Some of the signs are impaired thinking, obsession with
the behavior, loss of will power, progressively more risky spending
binges, deepening fears, the inability to take appropriate action, loss
of relationships, loss of possessions, and moral decline.
Like
stopping drinking, getting out of debt isn't easy. But it can be done.
And Jerrold Mundis has written a whole book about addictive debting and
recovery. It's based on the principles and techniques of Debtors
Anonymous, and it's worth buying. The title is "How to Get Out of
Debt, Stay Out of Debt and Live Prosperously." Getting
out of debt involves a commitment to pay back every dollar you owe. And
to do this you have to avoid taking on new debt. One of the key
principles is "You can not get out of debt by borrowing more
money." The
recovery process starts with a Repayment Plan, and the development of a
Spending Plan. Also, the Three Cardinal rules of Recovery are: 1.
Don't debt, one day at a time. 2.
Keep the Spending Record scrupulously. 3.
Adhere closely to your Spending Plan. Countless
others have freed themselves from debt. You can do it too. |
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