38. Self-centeredness lies at the heart of addiction

By Tom O'Connell

What's really the heart of the matter when it comes to addiction? I believe the best answer to this question is to be found on page 62 of the book Alcoholics Anonymous, otherwise known as the Big Book. The words written by AA co-founder Bill Wilson are these: "Selfishness, self-centeredness! That, we think, is the root of our troubles."

What's the opposite of self-centeredness? Humility. And in AA's book Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions this powerful phrase is asserted: "The attainment of greater humility is the foundation principle of each of AA's Twelve Steps. For without some degree of humility, no alcoholic can stay sober at all."

AA didn't invent this thinking. It borrowed its philosophy from existing spiritual traditions. The need to be unselfish and humble is at the heart of all major religious paths. In ancient China, Lao-Tzu said, "I suffer most because of me and selfishness. If I were selfless, then what suffering would I bear?" He also said, "To take all you want is never as good as to stop when you should." Addicts keep taking more...and more.

The ancient Hindu text Bhagavad Gita urges devotion to service of the Lord, not to oneself. And it stresses the need for non-attachment, the opposite of addictive dependency. "A person who has given up all desires for sense gratification, who lives free from desires...and is devoid of false ego, he alone can attain real peace."

The Buddha suggested, "Cease desire." And he stressed compassion, not self-centeredness, recommending detachment instead of dependency. In Islam, the ultimate purpose of humans is to be in the "service of God." This is done by sacrificing for others to benefit humanity, while not aiming for selfish pleasure.

In ancient Jewish scriptures a large crowd yields to "intense craving." Addiction and craving go hand in hand. But Moses denounced idol worship, and as a leader he was described as "very humble." One psalm says, "The Lord lifts up the humble." And in Proverbs we find, "Pride goes before destruction , and a haughty spirit before a fall."

Jesus said, '"Love one another," and urged people to take up their cross, walk the extra mile, turn the other cheek, and "Give to him who asks you." Also, he told an addiction recovery story about a prodigal son who blew his mind pursuing selfish goals.

Francis of Assisi's wisdom is quoted in AA's Eleventh Step: "It is by self-forgetting that one finds." The Twelfth Step describes alcoholics as "childish, emotionally sensitive, and grandiose." What's the antidote? Unselfishness and humility. The other AA co-founder, Dr. Bob Smith, had a short version of the Twelve Steps that went this way: "Trust God, clean house, and help others." The goal? Unselfishness.

In Emmet Fox's book the Sermon on the Mount, given to many alcoholics by their sponsors early in recovery, it says, "Every spiritual treatment...involves a tussle with our own lower self which wishes to indulge the old habit of thought." But spiritual growth brings a life that's "purer, truer, freer, and less selfish than it was before..."

In closing, I repeat Bill Wilson's powerful words: "Selfishness, self-centeredness! That, we think, is the root of our troubles." And that's why a spiritual development program that helps people transcend their character defects is so necessary for those who are trying to recover from various  addictions. It's worth repeating that if we go right to  the heart of the matter, we find "self-centeredness." And dealing with it is a matter of life and death.

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