43. Sex addiction may follow a personal history of abuse

By Tom O'Connell

When we try to understand how a public figure can get into trouble with sexual behavior we may shake our heads and think, "It makes no sense." And in so doing we are right on target. Addiction doesn't make sense; it's irrational.

Addiction comes from primitive craving deep within us, and we're all subject to that craving at one time or another, to a greater or lesser degree. And that craving defies logic. It has a mysterious, primitive, irrational life of its own.

The alcoholic can't afford to take one drink because of where the craving may lead. Likewise for the compulsive gambler or overeater. And also for the sex addict.

However, even though we can't expect to fully understand all the mysteries of addiction, often there are predisposing factors. Inborn tendencies. Family of origin issues. Distorted thinking. Emotional tension. Society's pressure. And even the spiritual quest.

Dr. Patrick Carnes authored the book "Out of the Shadows: Understanding Sexual Addiction." And this pioneer in sexual dependency treatment produced some thought-provoking studies on this important subject.

In a seminar on "Silent Shame," he cited a survey of men and women recovering from sexual addiction:

•     81 percent had been sexually abused.

•     72 percent had experienced physical abuse; and

•     97 percent had been the victims of emotional abuse.

In a study of more than 200 recovering men to determine types of sexual abuse experiences, he found that 43 percent were childhood victims of fondling; 28 percent--masturbation; 25 percent--oral sex; and 15 percent had been involved in forced sexual intercourse. Separate findings from 55 recovering women indicated that 58 percent were childhood victims of fondling, 58 percent--forced sexual intercourse, 36 percent--oral sex, and 25 percent--masturbation.

Adults known to the victim's family of origin but who were not "friends," were responsible for a high percentage of the sexual abuse. Twenty percent of the males studied had been fondled by adults other than their parents, and 36 percent of the women had experienced this kind of abuse. Nearly 20 percent of the men had been sexually abused by their parents and 30 percent of the women had been abused by one or the other parent. In a survey of some 300 sexual addicts in "advanced recovery," 92 percent indicated a history of either sexual or physical abuse during childhood.

Carnes reported that sexual addiction seldom operates in isolation as a person's only obsessive compulsive behavior. And he said the treatment field needs to do a better job of documenting the connections among multiple addictions. For example, among patients treated for sexual dependency, Carnes had  documented that 42 percent were also chemically dependent, 38 percent had eating disorders, and less than 17 percent had just one addiction.

Seldom do I simply quote statistics, but these speak a powerful message.

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