48. A thankful heart is important in recovery

By Tom O'Connell

One of the best prevention tools for a recovering person who doesn't want to relapse into the old self-destructive behavior is an attitude of gratitude.

The English writer Samuel Johnson wrote, "Gratitude is a fruit of great cultivation; you do not find it among gross people." Instead of "gross" we can insert the word "addicted." People who are actively addicted always want more, and it's difficult for them to be grateful for anything. But when the thinking shifts to "Less is better," an attitude of gratitude has a chance to develop.

The German dramatist G. E. Lessing wrote, "One single grateful thought raised to heaven is the most perfect prayer." What a powerful statement that is. And in addiction recovery, people learn to appreciate simple things and thank their Higher Power for them.

At the other end of the emotional spectrum is self-pity, a habit common among  addicts and one that needs to be overcome. In AA's book "Living Sober," there's a fascinating line: "We can also display a weird flair for expanding a minor annoyance into a whole universe of gloom."

The advice that follows is: "We need to pull out of our self-absorption, stand back, and take a good, honest look at ourselves. Once we recognize self-pity for what it is, we can start to do something about it other than drink." We could also insert the words "other than overeat" or words describing other addictive behaviors we turn to when life doesn't go the way we want it to.

"Living Sober" recommends attending meetings, talking with friends, and the use of humor. It also suggests making a gratitude list and including in it such items as health, friends, sunny weather, a good meal, a good hour's work, a good book to read, and other items "to outbalance the debit entries that cause self-pity."

The anonymous author also suggests using this approach to combat the holiday blues. Instead of concentrating on what's been lost, people can focus on the loved ones who are still around, the blessings they have, and the ability to give and receive love.

Bill Wilson, co-founder of AA, stressed the need for gratitude: "We AAs are unbelievably fortunate people; fortunate that we have suffered so much; fortunate that we can know, understand, and love each other so surprisingly well."

Wilson also wrote, "I try to hold fast to the truth that a full and thankful heart cannot entertain great conceits. When brimming with gratitude, one's heartbeat must surely result in outgoing love, the finest emotion that we can ever know."

In another one of his writings he tells about a clergyman who says, "Your misfortune has become your good fortune. You AAs are a privileged people."

The Pilgrims had hardships during their journey to a new way of life, yet they retained grateful hearts. On the journey of addiction recovery, a grateful heart is important too. Also, a light spirit helps. Enjoy the journey!

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