50. Caring for the soul is an important recovery strategy

By Tom O'Connell

A large audience of therapists was attracted to a particular workshop at last summer's Cape Cod Institute, which is sponsored by Albert Einstein College of Medicine. The title of the workshop was "The Soul in Psychotherapy." The presenter, dressed in black like a priest, was Thomas Moore, author of the best-selling book "Care of the Soul."

Analyzing the word "psychotherapy," this man who once studied for twelve years in a monastery said "psyche" means "soul" and the word "therapy" comes from the Greek word "therapeia" meaning "service in the sanctuary of a god or goddess."

As he spoke I realized that all of us are therapists. We help heal others and they help heal us. So Moore's messages to therapists make sense for us to think about too.

I was reminded of the healing in Twelve Step addiction recovery programs when he said, "The narrative is very important. The exploration of the fragments of the stories of our lives will let the soul come forth." Our personal stories have healing power in them. After all, what is our life but our story? And sharing it helps us and others to heal.

Stressing the importance of language during healing processes, Moore said, "The therapist is in the language business." He paused. "And what if we could hear more than what the person is speaking?" As we know, words are only part of the communication. There's also the tone, the manner, the defenses, the body language.

Thomas Moore explained that when dealing with the human personality, "It's a place that's bottomless, open-ended. It is never completely possible to do this work." The  healing process is ongoing. As they say in Twelve Step programs, it's a journey, not a destination. And the recall and telling of "the story" are a critical part of the journey.

Emphasizing the importance of imagination, even more so than truth, he said candidly, "I don't want the truth. I'm afraid of anyone presenting the truth. This is about imagination. It's a matter of heart, the way we live..."

Urging therapists to take imagination seriously in their healing work, he said, "Turn to poets, drama, stories and religion...the playful nature of religion." Putting his own spin on this, he said, "We are playing around very seriously, but when we take it literally we lose the play."

Giving some examples of "serious" play, he noted how priests and monks dress up in costumes. "Don't get too serious about it all," he cautioned. And his emphasis on play reminded me of the message "Lighten up" used in Twelve Step programs. "No matter how bad it gets there's still that light of humanity, the divine comedy," he said.

Moore had a calm, easygoing lightness about him, which resembled the serenity of many of the people who have been in addiction recovery a long time. They've learned the value of "Easy does it" and "One day at a time." And they've learned how poisonous it is to take themselves too seriously. It's a form of mental drunkenness.

So during this season of reflection, this time of extra opportunities to give and receive gracefully, why work yourself into a state about it? Take it easy. Relax. Just do the next thing that needs to be done. And don't sweat the small stuff. Remember that most of it is small stuff.

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