2. Character building is basic to recovery

By Tom O'Connell

Originally I called the 12 Step recovery programs "self-help" groups. Now I describe them as "mutual help" groups. Recovery doesn't take place in a self-centered vacuum. Members of groups help each other. Even showing up for a meeting helps other people. And so does being a power of example, radiating positive energy.

I think of each recovering person as a community leader, in a growing minority of committed people. Committed to personal growth through character development. Dedicated to honesty, purity of heart, unselfishness, and love. In a caring 12 Step atmosphere,  trust increases even while trust is becoming a lost ideal in many walks of life.

Trust is the key to leadership, according to Dr. Warren Bennis, world renowned expert on "creative leadership." When he was a presenter at a recent session sponsored by Albert Einstein College of Medicine, he asked, "How can you create trust in an environment of downsizing? What is the purpose of a corporation? Profit or people?"

He was able to give examples of rare corporations that downsized in humane ways,  showing empathy for employees, providing education and outplacement, equipping people with new skills, and finding new ways to use people instead of letting them go. In such a situation trust is not destroyed; it is enhanced.

Speaking about the fading of trust, he noted that  a few decades ago 75% of the people trusted government. Now that figure has declined to 25%. Trust is becoming a scarce commodity, with 75% of the people not even trusting their own government.

That's why I think of a 12 Step addiction recovery group as an emotional oasis where trusting relationships thrive as kindred spirits rebuild their lives. In the 12 Step programs I detect the same elements Bennis refers to as attributes of effective leaders: support, perseverance, respect, listening and feedback, consistency, and vulnerability.

 Bennis also outlines what he calls "The Five Cs of Trust." They are Competence, Constancy, Caring, Candor, and Congruity. A competent person can be relied on. A constant person has stable values. A caring person has empathy and can put himself or herself in another person's shoes. A candid person is straight and clear, and can confront when necessary. A congruent person can walk the walk, not just talk the talk.

Summing up his thoughts, Bennis said, "What I've been talking about on the subject of trust is authenticity and integrity." He emphasizes the need for people to grow into their authentic selves. Fortunately, 12 Step groups nurture this kind of growth.

The final notes I made at Bennis' workshop about great leaders can also be applied to healthy recovering people. They have optimism and expect a positive outcome, however daunting the odds. They have hope. They energetically pursue their goals. They can think their way out of a jam. One of the 12 Step slogans is just one word: THINK.

Effective managers, Bennis said, do things right. Effective leaders do right things. And they get results. I think the same holds true for people who pledge themselves to recovery, avoid unhealthy behavior, and do right things...one day at a time.

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