41. Beware of "experts" on spiritual growth

By Tom O'Connell

Addiction recovery brings the freedom that comes with spiritual growth, and mutual help groups based on unconditional love nurture that important individual liberty.

The individual is very important, according to the book "Alcoholics Anonymous," which says every person who is an alcoholic can get well "regardless of anyone." Then it asserts, "The only condition is that he trust in God and clean house." In addition, this book cautions against placing "dependence on other people ahead of dependence on God."

It also stresses the need for members not to "exhibit any passion for crusade or reform.....Never talk down to an alcoholic from a moral or spiritual hilltop; simply lay out the kit of spiritual tools for his inspection."

In Twelve Step groups, which are fellowships of equals, leaders are just "trusted servants." But the world of addiction is a world of extreme people, and in recovery groups, as in religions, there can be extremists who claim to know what's absolutely "right" for others as well as themselves.

Although individual dominance is unacceptable in fellowships of equals, self-appointed "experts" may appear, exhibit rigidity, quote texts as if divinely inspired, and spout off about what's best for others. Yet AA's Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions book says humility is "the main key to sobriety." So the dominant ones, through their lack of humility, are actually threatening the quality of their own sobriety while playing "big shot." Why would they do this? Because they are impaired. The same 12 & 12 book says alcoholics are "childish, emotionally sensitive, and grandiose." Obviously, whether drinking or dry, these character defects are difficult to overcome.

With another perspective, "Twenty-Four Hours a Day" (Hazelden) stresses the AA slogan "Live and Let Live."  The text explains, "We do not try to impose our will on those who differ from us. We are not 'holier than thou.' We do not have all the answers....We live the best way we can and we allow others to do likewise." Also, "The Little Red Book" (Hazelden) tells AA sponsors to avoid having a sponsee "lean upon us too heavily or he may fail to develop enough AA strength to succeed with our program." The emphasis is on individual character development.

"The Sermon on the Mount," by Emmet Fox, a book once given to newcomers by  pioneers in AA, advised: "You have to earn your own salvation by genuine, consistent hard work upon your own consciousness in realizing God....You do not owe an atom of loyalty to anyone or anything in the universe except your own Indwelling Christ (Christ=the absolute spiritual truth about anything), your own spiritual integrity." And the suggested method of spiritual growth is the "Practice of the Presence of God."

A book that may have inspired Fox, "The Practice of the Presence of God" by Brother Lawrence, an 18th Century Carmelite, reported, "I walk before God simply, in faith, with humility and with love, and I apply myself diligently to do nothing and think nothing which may displease Him.....I make it my business only to persevere in His holy presence...an habitual, silent, and secret conversation of the soul with God."

As for loving others, "One Day At A Time In Al-Anon" cites Thomas Merton: "The beginning of love is to let those we love be perfectly themselves, and not to twist them to fit our own image. Otherwise, we love only the reflection of ourselves we find in them." Nevertheless, we can lovingly help others by sharing our experience, strength, and hope.

My own little prayer on this subject is this: "God, preserve me from the arrogance of self-appointed spiritual experts, and please guide them into minding their own business which is their own spiritual growth. Also, guide me too, and please help me not to act too much like an 'expert'."

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