48. Gratitude is an important factor in recovery

By Tom O'Connell

The Pilgrims, in whose memory we celebrate Thanksgiving Day, concentrated on what they had, not on what they didn't have. And they were grateful for those blessings.

In recovery from addiction, people learn to have healthy grief over losses of loved ones, money, houses, prestige, fancy cars, and the rest. Then, as an antidote to negative thinking and depression, they learn to develop an "attitude of gratitude" for what they do have.

Although they have lost much, they have gained a program of physical, mental, and spiritual development. They now have close friends who share their experience, strength, and hope. They know the wonder of mutual support and love without a price tag. They're grateful for clearer heads, warmer hearts, and healthier relationships. They appreciate a kind word or a sympathetic ear...and much, much more. They are healing at deep levels.

Bill Wilson, co-founder of Alcoholics Anonymous, said this about losses: "In God's economy, nothing is wasted. Through failure, we learn a lesson in humility which is probably needed, painful though it is."

Since self-centeredness is at the core of addictive disease, the addict's slogan is  "More is better." And something dramatic has to happen to shock a person into saying humbly, "Enough is enough...less is better." The shocking event is usually a failure of some kind like losing a home, a family, one's health, a driver's license, or a job.

But out of each loss comes a new possibility. So many addicts say, "I'm a grateful recovering alcoholic...a grateful recovering addict...." They are grateful because their painful journey through the raging storms of addiction drove them into a safe harbor.

Their addictions have taken them into recovery where they can learn from the past, concentrate on right thoughts and behavior in the present, and move into the future with a lighter step. The failures that have brought humility have produced a good result.

As recovering people become less self-centered, they adopt healthier values and goals, and become assets to their loved ones and their communities. They become right-sized, productive, and useful. Then, little by little, they develop "thankful hearts."

Bill Wilson said, "I try to hold fast to the truth that a full and thankful heart cannot entertain great conceits. When brimming with gratitude, one's heartbeat must surely result in outgoing love, the finest emotion that we can have."

In Al-Anon, loved ones of alcoholics learn to be grateful that someone else's life-damaging behavior drove them to seek recovery themselves. And they become grateful for their own character development, regardless of what their loved ones choose to do.

In Al-Anon's One Day at a Time book, I especially like this September 9th  message: "Isn't my life full of potential good that I'm not using? Couldn't I bring it to fruition by changing my attitude? As a beginning, I will apply liberal amounts of gratitude for even my littlest advantages and pleasures. When I build on this foundation of present, tangible good, things will continue to change for the better....God make me grateful for all the good things I have been taking for granted."

Today I am grateful too, for the privilege of writing these essays designed to promote understanding of the addictions. I am also grateful for the sources of information and insight that inspire me. And I am grateful for your interest as a reader. Thanks, and God bless you during this Holiday and every day.

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