TABLE OF CONTENTS:

1) The Quest
2) Familiarity with Adversity
3) Families and Friends
4) Opening the Mind
5) Marriage and the Military
6) Work, Service, Health & Happiness
7) Spiritual Training
8) Approaching the Mountains
9) The Monadnock Revelations
10) Beyond the Mountains
11) Memories and Reflections

BOOK DESCRIPTION:

Now it can be told...the story of one special hour with God! "THE MONADNOCK REVELATIONS" is the TRUE STORY of Christian Journalist Tom O'Connell's special hour with the God of Love in the MONADNOCK MOUNTAINS of New Hampshire on September 5, 1985. He reports on SEEING GOD's DIVINE LIGHT and CHANNELING THE VOICE OF GOD. He clearly describes his thoughts and feelings while in an ALTERED STATE YET FULLY AWAKE.  He vividly presents the DIVINE REVELATIONS he was told to pass on to others, and describes his life before and after his God-experience in 1985. This fascinating memoir touches on REINCARNATION, PROPHECIES, the ROLE OF JESUS, and THE WAY GOD WISHES US TO LIVE.

Information included in this spiritual autobiography: The Quest...Familiarity with Adversity...Families and Friends...Opening the Mind...Marriage and the Military...Work, Service, Health & Happiness...Spiritual Training...Approaching the Mountains...The Monadnock Revelations...Beyond the Mountains...Memories and Reflections. 

Quote 9/5/85:

"I am Who am, I am God, the God of all, the God of Love, above all gods"  

AUTHOR COMMENTS:

The message is more important than the messenger. But to get the message across, the messenger needs to tell the story. That's what I have done in this book. To get the message across effectively, I believe it's relevant to tell my story in three parts, and to do it concisely. This has been accomplished.  

What's my basic purpose in telling my story? To fulfill my own mission based on God's instructions to me: "Tell them how much I love them." I sincerely hope this book will inspire people and help them to strengthen their faith as we face the future.. 

First, I tell the story of my life up to the point of The Monadnock Revelations at Peterborough, New Hampshire, on September 5, 1985. And I believe readers will find some of my spiritual adventures meaningful and perhaps fascinating.

Second, I report in detail on my hour with the God of Love at mystic/healer Eleanor Moore's place in the Monadnock Mountains. This part includes comments by Eleanor during an interview I  taped with her a few months after my experience. I was seeking  further understanding of what had happened to me, and Eleanor was very helpful.

Third, in the concluding chapters of the book I tell the reader what I've been doing with my life since that wonderful hour in 1985.

Based on favorable comments from the first people to read the book, I believe I have done my writing job well. My next challenge is to get my book into the hands of those who will be inspired by it. So I will be offering the mass media the opportunity to review the book, and I will be making myself available for interviews about my God-experience.

In a nutshell, I believe we come to this planet to learn to know, love and serve God. I think that as children of God we each have our part to play in God's divine story. And I see the God of Love as the author of this adventure we call life. As for me, I am one of the characters God has decided to use as a messenger.

Since my role is to tell my story as a messenger of God, I am doing my part by producing this book. Obviously, no other experience could match my hour with God in 1985, but I still see each day as a spiritual adventure. And I look forward to the rest of the adventure that God has planned for me...and for you.     

EXCERPTED:

From The Monadnock Revelations: A Spiritual Memoir by Tom O'Connell, Copyright 1996. Reprinted by permission. All rights reserved. 

Page 40...I found myself up above my own body, looking down at my lifeless form on the bed. Staying in that place for a while, somewhere between life and death, I knew I had a choice. I could leave the body then, or return.

Page 48...The boy from the wrong side of the tracks had risen to considerable heights....But still there was something deep down inside that remained uncomfortable with the direction my life was taking.

Page 59...On two occasions, when I was in the mysterious twilight zone between waking and sleeping, a full-sized, very rugged looking Jesus appeared and stood at the foot of my bed, silently.

Page 64...I was fascinated by the ancient burial places in Rome known as the catacombs, and I had similar feelings in Lazarus's tomb in Israel, as well as in the Great Pyramid....The Dead Sea Scrolls intrigued me, and I felt awe when I visited the Fifth Station of the Way of the Cross, where Simon had helped Jesus....And I meditated in awe near the Garden of Gethsemane at the rock where Jesus had meditated.

Page 65...In the Museum at Cairo, I also had strange and powerful feelings in Ikhnaton's room with its statues that seemed like caricatures.

Page 66...At Gizeh, in the Great Pyramid, being led toward the central chamber by an Arab with a candle, I came up against a psychic or spiritual wall of energy that warned me to go no further....I felt an ominous and oppressive invisible field.

Page 71...just before leaving for New Hampshire, I flipped the Bible open at random, and in Chapter 9 of Deuteronomy these words leaped out at me: "Thou shalt know therefore this day that the Lord thy God himself will pass over thee, a devouring and consuming fire...that the Lord may accomplish his word which he promised by oath to thy fathers, Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob." Later that day I would know what the consuming fire was, but when I read those words I had no idea.

Page 74-75...As I drove toward the Monadnock Mountains I had no idea that I was going to receive the gift of direct conscious communication with my Creator. If anyone had told me at that time that I would soon have God's voice blend with mine in a series of messages based on his eternal Love, I would have reacted with complete disbelief. But at Monadnock my belief system was radically altered.

Page 75...It was a bit after 3:00 p.m. when I arrived at the yellow farmhouse. The side door was open, so I went in and found women talking in the living room. Asking for Eleanor, I learned she was still with a client and would be available soon. So I sat and waited for the most important meeting in my life.

Pages 78 - 79...A sudden burst of force greater than any I had ever known came pounding into my skull, throwing my chin and face skyward and backward as the power of the universe came down through the nerves at the back of my skull, and from there the force passed down through my nervous system to my heart where I could feel it regulating the rapid beat. I was totally electrified. While fully conscious, I felt every feeling, was aware of all that was happening to me, and knew I had entered a completely altered state.

Page 79...the transition from the state of exhaustion to the feeling of being struck by lightning was sudden, as if some master switch in the universe had been thrown, and I was the circuit being electrified.

Pages 79 - 80...Then came four awe-inspiring words. A force beyond my own consciousness made my chest heave, and with my vocal cords and throat as a channel, created the words God has used to introduce Himself to others throughout history: "I Am Who Am."

Pages 81-83...With my heart pounding rapidly against my rib cage, chains of words paraded across my mind the way they might on a ticker tape, with God carefully selecting each word he used. He also regulated his voice to reflect his feelings. I let go of my thought-making function and put myself "on hold," and in my divinely induced paralysis, I could do nothing on my own except think some thoughts about what was going on. Every other act was God's.

Often during the session God told me, "Do not fear" and "Do not fear. You will not die." According to Eleanor, the last thing initiates into higher consciousness must overcome is death. "You can't overcome death until you overcome the fear of it."

*******"I Am Who Am, I am God, the One God, the God of all, the God of Love, above all gods. There are other gods. They are lesser gods, but I am over and above them. And there is One above all, over all."

This helps explain Jesus's statement that men are gods. Apparently there are many gods, with varying amounts of power. But there is one Supreme God. Eleanor speculated that the God I was in touch with was our God, but the "One above all" might be the "overall God of the planetary system." My own belief, after much reflection, is that Jesus is the Lord of this planet, that I was in touch with the God of Love who may be the Universal God referred to by Jesus as "Father," and that the "One above all" is the Source of all that is and ever was. Theologians call this the Godhead. But how can anyone have certain knowledge of such things? All I know is what I've heard, what I've experienced. The unseen is mystery.

The next thing the voice of God said was:

*******"I have sent my beloved son, Jesus, to show my Love, and my beloved Jesus showed his love on the cross."

This provides the key reason for Jesus's presence on earth. Eleanor added, "Mary knew he had the Christ Spirit. When he got strong enough and aware enough, he had the same experience of tapping into the cosmic...or it tapped into him....The outside force chose him and he chose the experience. There was a connection, so he became a world figure. There are different energies, and you come out of that energy."

In a book The Jesus Mystery by Janet Bock, she tells of an Indian Swami who reported that God incarnated Jesus to serve as a "messenger." The swami said that in India such incarnations came when the world was in a state of distress. He said Jesus came with the message that the kingdom of heaven existed here on earth in one's own heart.

As noted, I have had visions of Jesus. And The Jesus Mystery was the only book I took to Rome, Jerusalem, and Cairo a year before my meeting with God at Peterborough. In that book, I underlined this passage about doubting Thomas: "Even though Thomas had been present at the raising of Lazarus and other of Jesus's miracles, he again needed to see for himself. And Jesus satisfied his need."

In Israel, Jesus resolved my own doubts as I entered Lazarus's tomb, visited The Garden, and meditated at Golgotha. Today I believe that Jesus was not exaggerating when he said, "I am the Way" and "I and my Father are one." I believe he is the Beloved Son of God, the Divine Savior of this planet, and I have tried to adopt his Way as my way.

*******Page 83..."You, Thomas, are Horus and you are Ikhnaton. They, too, are gods. And you are the orphan son of God and will stand beside Jesus at my side in Heaven. I, too, feel like an orphan at times."

Can you imagine the awe I felt on hearing these words? Horus was a much loved god of ancient Egypt, the falcon god. In mythology texts he is "the son who is one with his father." He goes on a daily flight as the sun bird, from east to west, and every day he is reborn. Horus became an orphan when his uncle Set murdered his father Osiris and left his mother Isis a widow. Later Horus lost his eye when he tried to avenge his father's death. But he won, used his own eye to restore his father's sight, and had his own eye restored by the god Thoth's spit. The eye of Horus, to the present time, symbolizes healing.

Set later tried to discredit Horus by saying he was a bastard son, but the supreme court of the gods pronounced Horus to be the true-begotten son of his father. Before God's revelation to me about Horus, I had experienced Horus omens when reading Jung, and while in Egypt. It's amazing how God works.

*******Pages 85-86..."I have given everything in your life to you to prepare you to be my prophet....In your time you will see astounding things, things the world has never seen....when he (Jesus) begins his 1,000-year reign, as it is written....Everything man needs to know is in my Word."

The words are clear, and there is little I can add.   I am  reluctant to call myself a prophet, yet I accept God's will. Interpreting the word "prophet," Eleanor equated it with "messenger," and tied it to my future writing. So, to carry out God's will, I try to give messages about God's love in my writings, lectures, TV and radio work, statements during meetings of mutual help groups, and comments to individuals.

As for the "astounding things" I will see, I have already seen some "impossible" events involving the moon and the sun. But after what I experienced at Monadnock, nothing is impossible anymore.

When will the 1,000-year reign of Jesus start? I don't know. All I know is God confirmed that Jesus will come again, as the Scriptures have predicted. That's enough for me to know. The rest is mystery.

God's reference to his Word as the place to get our needs met is clear. And his Word includes the Bible, oral tradition, visions, dreams, and symbols. His Word arrives mystically in many ways, including random reading and inspired thoughts.

God can communicate in any way he pleases. He can whisper to us during meditation and prayer. And he can speak to us directly. However, he told me it was a challenge to use words. Apparently, words are very limiting. But the God of Love has no limits!

*******Pages 86-87..."Look on nothing with disdain. Love is in all creation."

This is a new commandment based on an old theme. It was at the core of Jesus's message to love our enemies. God paused before saying  "disdain," so this word is important. It means "to despise, scorn, have aversion to, feel contempt for, to reject as unworthy of oneself...." So we must love all creation, and avoid contempt for people, places, or things. We don't have to love wrong behavior. We simply need to love each being as the creation of a loving God, and meet each person as a fellow pilgrim on the journey that will eventually bring us all home.

Obviously, whenever the God of Love creates something, God's essence is reflected in it. But it's easy for us to overlook the obvious. It's apparent that Jesus understood the Love of God as a part of all creation. Francis of Assisi understood too. They both loved all creatures, all things, all people. We, too, should love all creation as Jesus and Francis did.

*******Pages 87-88..."I cry to think of how they defile my gift of generation. They do not know. You will tell them, Thomas."

The key word is "gift." Since sexual generation is a sacred gift from God, we must strive for pure hearts and express love unselfishly, with tenderness and compassion, and not with greed or perversion. We must express love naturally, not unnaturally. The sexual act is for sharing affection and creating new beings, and requires kindness, consideration, and concern for each other's spiritual growth.

Sex based on real love does not include lust, demand gratification, or chase its own pleasure in a self-centered way. Love does not buy, sell, trade, or barter sexual services. Love does not degrade another to satisfy urges. Love does not utilize fear, threaten, dominate, manipulate, misuse, or abuse. Love does not achieve its aims through physical, psychological, or spiritual violence. And perhaps most important of all, sex based on love is not addictive.

We need to elevate the act of sex on this planet to the level of divine gift, sacred ritual, sacrament. The sexual connection is a God-connection worthy of divine respect and sensitivity. With the power of generation, God gave us the keys to the creation of mankind. We should protect those keys carefully.

I believe we need to clean up our sexual act and  live as Jesus advised 2,000 years ago. "Love one another." If we love God, self, and others properly, our pure and unselfish hearts will radiate God's love and reflect it in all our sexual activities. 

*******Pages 88-89..."I love everything. I love everyone. I love all, even those who do not believe. And there is no hell. I love them. Tell them how much I love them. I especially love the maimed, the deformed, the crippled, the handicapped, the addicted. I created them to give others the opportunity to love the afflicted, who will be with me in Heaven."

This tells me God's love is total. Our God of Love is not a punishing God. Instead, we punish ourselves when we separate ourselves from him with our selfishness. There may be a place somewhere in the universe with an eternal fire in it, as Jesus noted, and  maybe spirits can be extinguished there in the way we burn rubbish, but a place where a spirit suffers on and on without end would not, in my view, be consistent with God's boundless love for us.

As for God's comments about afflicted people, what a wonderful explanation of why things are the way they are. God's love is at work in all situations. Whatever  happens through the use of our wills, or through accidents or diseases, God's love can make it all come out right. Also, he has a special place in his Divine Plan for those we consider unfortunate. So we need not question God's Wisdom.

*******Pages 89-90..."You will be with me when your work is done, Thomas. Do not worry about your heart. It will not break. You will not die. My heart is in your heart. My Love is in you."

I felt God's hand on my heart as my heart raced. My heart was pounding so hard and fast I could not imagine it surviving such an ordeal. One effect of the immense pumping of blood during the experience was that for several days following the event my ordinarily quite minor hemorrhoids bled profusely to the point where I considered buying some women's sanitary napkins. But finally the flow subsided.

During my time with God, he eased my concerns with his comments. When the thought of death entered my mind, God instantly responded to me with the helpful words he spoke through my voice apparatus. And in some instances during the session, he used thought-to-thought communication.

Throughout the entire initiation process, God encouraged me and calmed me in the depths of my paralyzed being. And when he said his heart was in my heart, I knew those words were literal. I felt a sense of unity with God that is beyond description.

God's comment that I will be with him when my work is done gives me courage to face challenges as I try to fulfill God's will for me. After all, I exist only to do God's will. It took decades trying to pursue my own will in this world to nudge me toward accepting the truth of the catechism lessons I received in childhood at St. Catherine's Sunday school. The message was hammered home that our purpose on earth was to know, love, and serve God in this world so that we would be happy with him forever in the next. The message was clear and true. I affirm it.

*******Pages 90-92..."You found it hard to believe what happened to Francis, but everything they say is true is true."

The "Francis" was Francis of Assisi. God did not call him a saint, as we do. He calls each of us by our first names. He certainly doesn't call us by our titles like Doctor and Professor and Reverend and General. Nor does he call us by our nicknames. I'm not "Tom," I'm "Thomas." God keeps it simple, and I believe we are all equal in his loving perspective.

When God referred to my doubts about Francis, he was showing me his knowledge of the smallest details of my life. I had doubted some of the stories about Francis, although I am a Secular Franciscan. And I also had reservations about the stigmata, or wounds of Christ, that Francis was supposed to have received from an angel. But God erased my doubts.

While my session progressed, I remained quite  powerless over my body, and stayed that way for the whole hour. To show me what happened to Francis,  God took my paralyzed arms and folded them in an "X" position on my chest, in the same position that is depicted on Franciscan emblems and medals.

Knowing I was radiating with God's energy and power, I identified with Francis, and realized God's truth and Francis's truth were one. Then, in slow motion, my arms began to spread, and I moved from mirroring Francis to the experience of being Jesus. I went into the crucifixion pose, with my palms facing the sky as my arms stretched out as far as they could.

Then astounding beams of energy pounded down from the heavens and I could feel them burning into my palms with laser force as I received the energy of the stigmata. I wondered if this might deform me for the rest of my life, and accepted the possibility of living with open wounds, as Francis had done.

I was sweating profusely during all this time, and the heat throughout my body was hotter than any fever I have ever felt, including the one in Israel and Egypt a year before. I also felt that the sweat coming from my forehead was actually blood. My mouth was so parched I could identify with Jesus's thirst on the cross, and I was in awe as all this happened. My awe was combined with unbelievably acute awareness.

Then, as I thought about the parched feeling on my lips and in my mouth and throat, the words of God came through me and said,

*******"Eleanor will moisten your lips."

Tears come as I write this passage, remembering God's tenderness. God is obviously deeply concerned with our feelings. His training may be painful, but he is not cruel. Following God's direction, Eleanor left my side and came back in a while with water. She poured some into my mouth, and it ran down my lips and onto my chin. As the "living water" touched my overheated body with its sweet coolness, it soothed me with its own life, and my being filled with joy.

I realized that even in a crucifixion there can be  joy and peace, and Jesus must have had those moments despite his unspeakable agony. The Divine Presence would have made the difference for him, as it did in my symbolic crucifixion when I was electrified, paralyzed, and physically challenged. My natural body, my nervous system, and my mortal mind were enduring a trial. And God's next words reminded me of someone else's trial.

*******Page 92..."Abraham was willing to give me his son, but I loved Abraham and he did not have to give me his son. He could keep his son and love him."

God's voice was very soft when he spoke these words. I'm not sure why he chose to tell me about Abraham. Perhaps it is to help others make sense out of the perplexing Abraham and Isaac story.

I too had to be willing to sacrifice my connection with my son when I entered a painful divorce. It was a sacrifice to be separated from him when he was only ten, and from my three daughters who were young adults. Yet, despite our separation, God enabled me and my children to nurture our love over the years, and to get to know each other as friends.

As I see it now, I think God expects us to learn to love our families and others with sincerity but also with some detachment so we don't need to control or possess them. When we truly love we should give our loved ones the freedom to move and space to grow, as our loving God gives us freedom and space.    

At any rate, while still fully electrified, with my arms outstretched in the crucifixion posture, I heard the voice of God speak these words through me:

*******Pages 93-94..."Thomas doubted, but Thomas was loved by Jesus and was allowed to have proof of his wound. Thomas later went to India and spread the Gospel and died there....You will go to Nepal near Tibet to a monastery where you will see what I have written."

I will need direction about which monastery in Nepal to visit, and I await that guidance. As for Thomas the apostle, despite his doubt he received a special gift after the resurrection of Jesus...living proof of the reality of Jesus's wounds. And Thomas's mission to India is reflected in the existence of "Thomas Christians" there to this day.  

Eleanor shared this idea with me: "Put all the apostles together and they make a whole. They make Jesus. Jesus had it all."

As God spoke to me about Thomas, the doubting apostle, my right arm rose and curled so the fingers of my right hand pressed hard against the lower part of my right rib cage. The heat at my fingertips was so intense I thought the lance wound of Jesus would be there to disfigure me for the balance of my life.

Then I heard these words:

*******"Only a chosen few will see the mark I have left on your chest, Thomas."

One day after this experience, in the Illustrated Encyclopedia of Traditional Symbols I found a picture of Jesus with the fingers of his right hand touching the wound in his right rib cage, just as my fingers had done. As I discussed this with Eleanor, she wondered if Christ's wound was "in the same place where Eve came out of Adam's rib." She thought that after my hands had been "opened up," my right hand was used to release "female creative God-Principle." She observed, "You're very male and need to release your female creative intuitive."

The mark on my chest is invisible so far, but I still remember the heat as my fingertips touched that part of my chest. And I accept what God said about a chosen few seeing the wound. Much of what God told me is mystery. But I've always loved mysteries. They make the world go around, don't they?

*******Pages 94-98... "Look at Eleanor, Thomas. Open your eyes."

The light dazzled my eyes, and its radiance was simply incredible. How can I describe that light? That astounding light from the heavens? It was the light of all lights, from the source of all light. It was the wonder of all wonders. The very thought of it fills me with awe, and the memory of it makes my eyes feel like squinting. At any rate, right after I had opened my eyes, I was told,

*******"Do not be afraid, Thomas. You will not go blind."

The light of God's Presence was so astoundingly bright I will never forget it. Gold? Silver? White? I don't know. Probably a mixture of gold and white. I'm not sure. I just know it was amazingly bright.

My head began to turn, through God's direction, in a jerky fashion. I was not moving it. Whatever the self is, it was suspended now, and had no place in the initiation ceremony. Eternal energy was doing the moving. And I was fully conscious of that energy and how it was in charge of my slightest movements. As I looked at where Eleanor was sitting, God's voice said,

*******"You will not see her."

Where Eleanor had been sitting, there was no Eleanor. I was seeing right through her bodily form, and for a while she remained invisible. I could see only the wall and bookcases behind her.

Then, bit by bit, she appeared in miniature, low in my field of vision, and finally she expanded into normal size like a balloon being inflated. When I discussed this incident with her months later, she said, "I've done that to other people. I've disappeared in front of a room full of people a couple of times."

I asked, "Is that God's way of telling us that everything's an illusion?"

"Yes, everything is not what you think it is."

This event led me to remember that I have had other experiences where friends seemed to disappear before my eyes in large rooms of people. But I never truly believed they had disappeared. I chalked it up to a blind spot in my field of vision. Maybe I saw through their bodily forms.

Another fascinating experience took place in St. Mary's Church, Dedham. I was at Mass with my son, and during the "Peace to you" greeting, I turned and behind me I saw a man's face that was a mass of scarred flesh with tiny holes where a nose should have been, and a smaller than usual mouth opening. The only things that seemed intact were his eyes. I looked into those eyes, said "Peace," reached out my hand to shake his, and felt only a stump.

I smiled nervously, went back to attending to the Mass, went to Communion, and on my return to the pew the man was gone. I'm not saying he dissolved into thin air. My son saw him too, so I know it was not a hallucination. But one minute he was there, and the next he was gone. It reminded me a bit of Francis of Assisi meeting a leper and touching him.

As for the "impossible" things that happened to me at Peterborough, I say this: "My belief system has lost its boundaries. I now believe in the impossible."

The former me would have had a difficult time saying those words. It has taken a series of mystical experiences to change me so I can accept events that defy the laws of logic. I once worked hard at being logical, and often my logical part thought it controlled my destiny. Now I see that my so-called logical thinking was just a sincere delusion.

I believe today that God's logic differs from ours. And although it may sound a bit like determinism, I believe God chooses the parts we are to play in this planetary drama. What about our free will? Well, I guess we are free to play our part or run from it. The catch is that when we run from our own destiny it leaves us feeling more uncomfortable than when we simply accept God's will for us. 

In any case, after Eleanor had gradually returned to full size, the room was still filled with dazzling light, and I felt so hot that when I touched something metal on her wrist, I thought it would certainly melt.

Looking back, it seems that in my altered state I was conscious of two realities at once. I knew I was still in space and time, yet I knew I was functioning beyond space and time, in eternity.

Eleanor's presence in the room was real to me, and so was God's presence. Also, the awe-inspiring flow of electrical energy through me could not be ignored. It was so powerful that it definitely caught my attention. And the beat of my heart throughout the whole session was so strong that it felt like it would pound right through the wall of my chest. It was pounding the way a heart pounds after a long workout on  a treadmill in a cardiologist's laboratory.

As for time, there was no way for me to measure time during my special hour with God. It was only after the hour was over that I could begin to get any perspective on it. That particular hour had a timeless aspect to it.

Speaking of time, I have to admit that I often get confused by God's time. And I wonder when God will fulfill the various revelations he made to me at Monadnock. But I know in my heart that God's time is the best time. So all I have to do is fulfill my own duty to God by carrying the messages he gave me on September 5, 1985.

In addition, I want to make it clear to readers that just because I had a special experience of God, that doesn't mean I have become superhuman. Instead, I think it has made me even more sensitive to the challenges of life. I still have to cope with my allergies and other health problems. And I have my bouts with anxiety.

However, I'm not as much a victim of feelings as before. I am more in tune with God's will today. So I am much more peaceful. I believe some of that peace comes directly from God, some of it comes from Jesus, and some comes from Mary.

*******Page 98... "Mary is a god. She had one child, Jesus. They think she had more. They do not know."

The message speaks for itself. If God says Mary is a god, then that's all there is to it. Apparently, the theological speculation about Jesus having brothers is wasted energy. Why do people want to believe that Mary had more children? Can't they handle the idea of a virgin birth? With God all things are possible.

Several times during the session, God said to me,

*******Pages 98-99 ..."Smile, Thomas, I am a God who smiles."

At one point, God took my mouth and my lips and forced a large smile onto my face! What can I say? Isn't it wonderful to think of a God who smiles? God loves. God smiles. God enjoys informality and the light touch. He even uses the word "okay."

When I wondered about what I would be called on to do as his prophet, God just said,

"Do not worry. Easy does it. They will come to you."

Apparently I am supposed to take it one day at a time, letting my life unfold, and being open to the people who come into it. This means that much of the time I must keep my natural curiosity restrained, and hold back my inclination to get right into tasks and get things done. Often I ask God, "When?" The reply tends to be silence. The indirect message is, "Just do your best, and wait."

*******Page 99..."Gloria will be with you. Other women will come and follow you as they followed Jesus."

I continue my connection with Gloria as the years go by, and a number of other special women have come into my life. In truth, I believe women have an important place in God's spiritual planning. When it comes to spirituality, women tend to be more enthusiastic and receptive than men. I have shared information such as the contents of this book with women, and they have been grateful. Also, some women, during lectures I've given, have seen my aura, been amazed by it, and told me about it.

*******Pages 99-101... "You will teach them to meditate as I have taught you to meditate."

The meditation I practice is not complicated, and is silent, sitting meditation based on the discipline encouraged by a Benedictine monk, John Main. He learned to do it in India and eventually brought it to the Benedictine monastery in Montreal. Then, until his death, he did his best to spread the word about it.

You sit with legs crossed on a little pillow on the floor, or in a chair with arms. You let your hands rest in your lap, with fingers touching lightly. And you may choose to use some beads, such as rosaries or the meditation beads of the Far East. If you doze off, they will drop, slide against the edge of your chair or hit the floor, and will wake you up.

You close your eyes lightly, let your eyes aim down the bridge of your nose, notice your breathing, and as you breathe in and out through your nose, with mouth closed, you say or hear your prayer word, or mantra, without actually moving your lips. You actually think your mantra...until it fades away.

As you sit with eyes closed, seeming to look out of a dark cave through your forehead, you don't look for pictures on the screen of your vision. Instead, you work quietly to clean off that visual screen so it's blank. When your thoughts disappear, your mind is left clear and connected with God, in the silence.

The mantra, or prayer word, is our spiritual tool. We simply listen to it, or think it. The best mantras  don't conjure up a visual image. I use "Maranatha" and "AUM," pronounced "Ahh...ooh...mmmmm." The mantra clears the mind, brings peace, and helps to bring mystical union with God.

I breathe deeply into my abdomen, let it expand slowly, and watch my breathing. I repeat my mantra until it fades and leaves me in the deep silence with God. I do this twice a day, from 20 to 30 minutes, in the early morning and late in the day. I do this on an empty stomach and without caffeine, but I take some orange juice to help me stay awake in the morning. And I usually use beads to help keep me alert.

The condition I aim for is alert stillness. No preliminary exercises are needed. The goal? To do, think, and say nothing. Usually there are moments when no messages enter the mind, and that is just fine. And sometimes messages come, like the one I received: "The work comes first, everything else second." The "work" is meditation itself, or yoga, which means scientific union with God. 

There are many views on the value of meditation. Eleanor believed that it provided "a way of releasing energy, getting rid of garbage, and becoming more aware of the inner person." I believe we each receive spiritual benefits from the practice, and if we do it  consistently, it has the power to change our lives.

In my English Composition course at Cape Cod Community College, I give a writing assignment that includes reading about meditation, trying it, and then writing about it. For most students, it is their first real attempt to sit and be still, and yet they are able to write about benefits received even after only a few minutes in deep silence based on alert stillness. 

As my session with God continued, I received additional emphasis from God about my role in his grand design.

*******Pages 101-104...."Now, Thomas, you will be my prophet."

According to Eleanor, a prophet was "a witness or messenger." She explained, "Your old soul that burned up its shit and garbage and fear can very objectively look and see the patterns of what is going on around the planet today....You'll write your experiences. Part of your experience was knowing that you are a book. You're the Book of Life. I am too. We've been around more than once." She was referring to prior lives. Past lives were as real to Eleanor as the present life is to most people.

*******"Look at the ceiling, Thomas."

The light was incredibly bright, almost blinding, and in the rough plaster of the ceiling I saw a configuration that looked very much like the outline of Italy. It seemed to be in the shape of a boot, or high shoe. It truly captured my attention for a time, and then came the words:

*******"Do not be afraid, Thomas."

Astounding energy poured through me, and it seemed to come out from my eyes like a powerful penetrating ray. Then came these words:

*******"You will not go blind."

Repeatedly during the experience, I suspended my fear. When fear entered my mind, it was like a bug flying by, and my awareness of God's loving connection with me removed it.

Then God began to use my eyes in what seemed a very odd way, yet after eye surgery the previous winter I had experienced something similar. On that occasion, my  anesthetized eye had seen images that were different from those seen by my active eye. And it was a bit frightening to have that happen.

As I lay there at Eleanor's watching the image on the ceiling, God took my eyes, and a concentrated beam of energy, like a laser, came from one eye and poured onto the place on the ceiling to which he had directed my vision. During this time, God's thoughts kept flooding into my mind, advising me to hold on and not let go of the intense gaze. I held on.

*******"There will be a mark."

The light of God apparently left a mark on that ceiling. Months later, Eleanor told me that some of the people coming to see her since my visit had been fascinated by the ceiling. "I have more aware people coming here now." As for the word "mark," she said  it could mean "the Word that all words stem from."

*******"It is finished."

In a dramatic way, pausing between each word, God's statement echoed Jesus's words on the cross. Those words come after completion of the experience of initiation into higher consciousness. 

Eleanor left the room for a while after the three words were spoken, but my inner experience went on. The power of God lifted my stiff body into a sitting position, and as I was propped up by my extended arms, some private messages came. And my eyes were then directed toward objects in the room, with one eye used to project the beam, or ray.

The radiant energy continued to fill me as my eyes went to a picture of Francis of Assisi on a table near the door. Then my eyes went to a blue, white, and gold ceramic unicorn. The ray from my eye rested on its horn, and I thought the ceramic might explode. Also, my eye sent a ray to the light switch on the wall. Months later, Eleanor told me that since my visit people had developed interest in Francis' picture and in the unicorn.

Each time my head moved during this time, it had a jerky motion. I was not moving it; it was being moved. Next, in an obscure nook to the rear of where Eleanor had been sitting at my left, I saw an artistic oversized postcard with an angelic figure on it, and rays of heavenly light coming from it. Before I left Eleanor's place that evening, she gave me that postcard depicting Metatron, the Archangel of the Presence who came to Moses.

Sitting there, I was sweating profusely, getting small chains of words from God that seemed to be transition comments, bringing me back to everyday reality. And as my mobility returned, the altered state diminished in intensity. Yet my body was still pulsating with electrical energy. I actually thought I was sweating blood, and I was tingling all over as I tugged at my shirt, popping a button on it. I used part of it to wipe my forehead, and then expected to see blood on the shirt. There was none there.

I was feeling like a giant as I sat there alone, still filled with much tingling energy. Moving stiffly to the floor, I felt much larger than life, but with a very deep fatigue. I flung myself onto the divan, and curled up there, wanting to sleep but knowing that I had to stay awake. As I lay recovering, my mind was whirling with thoughts of what had just happened to me. In those moment my whole being was filled with God's words of love. I knew it was my destiny now to carry the awareness of my God of Love to others.

I had come a long way from being Thomas the doubter. "My God, what a God you are!" I thought as I lay there with God's words flying through my mind. As memories of the experience flooded in, I reflected, "It's beyond belief, but it's true."

*******Pages 108-113...On the Sunday following my Monadnock trip, at St. Mary's Church in Dedham, I flipped the Mass book open at random, and before my eyes I saw the page headed "Transfiguration." It said, "In the shiny cloud the Spirit is seen. From it the voice of the Father is heard. 'This is my son, my beloved son, in whom is all my delight. Listen to him.'" God described Jesus to me as his "beloved son" too.

In Edgar Cayce on Reincarnation, I read about Jesus reviving the teachings of the Essenes, beliefs  "rooted firmly in the laws of reincarnation." Jesus, in the Gospels, referred to the belief in reincarnation without criticizing it, so the revelation that I am a blend of former spirits known as Horus and Ikhnaton is consistent with my Christianity. 

On September 19, I flipped open a copy of the Psalms and here is what I read in Psalm 82: "God presides in the heavenly council; in the meeting of the gods (interesting use of the plural) He gives his decision." Then in the Scriptures I read, "I told you that you are gods, that all of you are the sons of the Most High." Again, the plural "gods" is used.

In Tantra in Tibet, I read: "If a phenomenon, such as a body, and its emptiness were exactly the same, then when we saw the body, we would see its emptiness." Maybe that's what I saw when God told me to look at Eleanor, and said I would not see her.

In Psychology and Religion by Carl Jung, I read: "Religious experience is absolute. It is indisputable. No matter what the world thinks about religious experience, the one who has it possesses the great treasure of a thing that has provided him with a source of life, meaning and beauty and that has given a new splendor to the world and to mankind."

The book Men Who Have Walked With God, written by Sheldon Cheney, reported on the mystic visions of Catherine of Siena, whose name was attached to the church I attended in Norwood as a child. Catherine was described as being "rapt out of her corporeal senses" as information came to her "dictated by God the Father." She also said she was "transformed into Christ."

Later, in Christ Consciousness, a journal written by Norman Paulsen, I found a report that reminded me of my own experience at Monadnock: "forces beyond my poor control"...."incredible voice".... "incredible light"...."Tremendous vibrations"...."I couldn't move my body"...."beyond the barriers of time, space and images."

Paulsen wrote, "As Moses saw God face to face, so did I, and so can you." He said that meditation is the vehicle to use in preparation for the experience.

As the days following my experience of God passed, I read at random in the Scriptures often, and here are some of the messages I received: "Write therefore the things thou hast seen and the things that are, and the things that are to come hereafter." "No one can question what you have done or challenge your judgment." "Tell your fellow exiles what I am saying." "Pack your bundle for exile."

Shortly afterward, I moved to Cape Cod. My first day on the Cape was Columbus Day, October 12, 1985. Like Columbus, I knew where I was going, but didn't know what would happen when I arrived. Yet much of my life has been that way. After all, on the day I went to see Eleanor Moore in the Monadnock Mountains I also knew where I was going, but I certainly didn't expect to meet God there.

On Cape Cod it took me nearly two years to develop and refine the 220 page manuscript telling the story of my meeting with God. Recently, I have condensed it to make it less expensive to publish. At first I wanted to shout about it to the whole world, but each time I felt that way I remembered God's counsel to take it easy and wait for the appropriate people to come into my life. That gave me peace.

At the interview with Eleanor Moore in January 1986, I gained new perspective on Monadnock. One item was the connection between my experience of God and the kundalini, a yoga component visualized in Asia as a circular, spiral, coiling, winding serpent slumbering at the base of the spine, and waiting to be roused. One of the aims of yoga meditation is to rouse the serpent, get her to lift her head, and bring her up a subtle nerve along the spine to the crown of the head. When this happens, energies of contrary powers come together and bring a transformation in the individual.

We discussed this powerful transforming force, and the meditation I had been practicing for a long time prior to my visit. She said I had been "all uptight and full of tensions" when our session had begun. "Your electrical energy was shut off because you had experienced so much tension. You were electrocuted to bring you back to life."

She compared my experience to the Frankenstein story. "We're supposed to have an electrical force that's part of our lives and goes out to heal people, but for many people it's pinched off. As you began to relax you began to feel the flow. Once you began to feel it, it connected you with the earth. You felt energy in your feet and you said, 'Something's coming up through my feet,' because you had tapped into the power of the planet itself."

Eleanor said my screaming was "what happens when the kundalini comes up the spine and up through the chakras and opens your throat. You yell and yell and yell, and when it rings like a bell and I hear it go outside the room and out into the whole area, then I know that as far as anybody can hear that tone they'll come to you to learn what you went through. You'll be their teacher."

She compared the yelling to a newborn baby clearing its lungs, and said that after my screaming I became very peaceful. "Then you got whapped again. That's when the energy came up again and opened the doors in your head, and lightning came in and revitalized your heart and brought heaven and earth together. You, as a human being, went through a death and a rebirth. You died and came right back. Now you're a new person. You're not exactly who you were before. A lot of garbage in you was burned out, including your old fears and anxieties. You're not afraid of death anymore. And the resentment and negativity about being an orphan got burned up."

She said many people came to her to release kundalini. "That's similar to you going through your God experience. But they may not be as advanced as you are to go through the last phases of it. They may be just releasing energy on a baby level. You went through last initiation, overcoming death."

On the subject of the paralysis I felt during the initiation experience, and the voice that came out of me, she said, "The Energy and the Power were choosing your words and using your voice  box." 

The time I spent interviewing Eleanor was very beneficial. I have often reviewed the tape I made with her that day. It's all the more special now that she has gone back home to God's Heaven, and is not available to me in person.

After interviewing Eleanor, I took considerable time to sift through the experience, and continued my mystical research as I went along with life in the worlds of family, work, and personal growth.

Each time I was afflicted by the notion that the world was eagerly waiting for my good news, the message God gave me about taking it easy motivated me not to rush. So I lived a day at a time, trying to practice the counsels I had received at Monadnock, and I slowly but surely organized the materials that would eventually come together as a book telling about my time of direct communication with God.

When I had the manuscript under way, I became interested in publishing it, and when I discussed it with Gloria on Cape Cod, she advised me to write under an assumed name. So I did, out of humility. When the book was done, I gave a copy to about 30 friends who seemed quite underwhelmed by my spiritual experience. This surprised me, but provided another dose of humility, which is an important part of our spiritual journey.

Reviewing the lives of others who had met God directly, I saw their pattern of going on with life, facing rejection undaunted, and still keeping their mission in the forefront of their minds no matter how long it took to reach the goals assigned to them.  So I went on with my life, and tried in a subtle way at times, and in a more dramatic way at other times, to carry God's messages in my writing and lecturing, and in private communication during the years that have passed since September 5, 1985.

*******Pages 124-125... When we discover the God in each of us, we change from uncomfortable solitary  beings to people with a wonderful sense of unity. When we find God in us, and know he is also out there beyond us, we break through barriers of time and space, entering a new dimension of being in which the impossible becomes possible, the incredible becomes believable, and we are left in awe of the God of Love who created this planet and rules over it in a kindly way.

The idea of a God of Love isn't new. Ikhnaton, king of Egypt more than 3,300 years ago, whose spirit is in me, said what I am saying now. So I am not breaking new ground, just reinforcing old truths.

When it comes to the truth of your own journey,  I hope your trip is as rewarding as mine has been. I hope you believe as I do that our time in the Book of Life is the most fascinating chapter. I hope you find that gold white light of God's Love and Truth inside you as I have found it in me. I hope you ascend to a  high level of conscious contact with God. And I hope one day to meet you in the place of love God has reserved for us in Heaven.

I have a few closing words for you. I love the self God has created me to be. I love the God of Love who revealed Himself to me. I love the Revelations from God that came through me at Monadnock. And I love you. May God bless you and keep you. May you truly love yourself. May you overflow with love for others. And may you express your love and gratitude to the God of Love.

The end?

Let's think of it as a new beginning.

REVIEWS:

Comment found at Amazon.com - just_joyce008, Los Angeles

“INTERESTING SPIRITUAL MEMOIR...I am the daughter of Eleanor Moore. She would have enjoyed reading this book. Tom has written his experiences in a VERY ENJOYABLE AND EASY TO UNDERSTAND way. This is truly A TRUE ACCOUNT IN TOM'S LIFE AND THOSE THAT READ THIS BOOK WILL COME AWAY UPLIFTED.”

Wendy L. Smith, Writer, Marketing, Salt Lake City, Utah

"A VERY MOVING exploration of Mr. O'Connell's life experiences and spiritual lessons learned through adversity and healing. I LOVED IT!"

Diana O'Dell, Alcohol Counselor & Massage Therapist, Albuquerque, New Mexico

"This message of transformation ENCOURAGES, ENERGIZES, AND INSPIRES."

Ron Schloerb, Photographer, Hyannis, Mass.

"This book GAVE ME A BETTER UNDERSTANDING OF THE MEANING OF LIFE and great hope for the future."

Anna Carter, Entrepreneur, Newsoms, Virginia

"It WARMED MY HEART and INSPIRED MY SOUL!"

Hope Van der Wolk, Homemaker, Osterville, Mass.

"INSPIRING...A PLEASURE TO READ."

Allan Cole, Business Owner, Dennis, Mass.

"Its value is in its RING OF AUTHENTICITY."

Margaret Fry, Healer, Loughton, Essex, England

"I GREATLY ENJOYED READING your very personal account of your spiritual journey."

Maria Karalis, Publisher, Centerville, Mass.

"EXTREMELY VISIONARY, well written, inspiring...A GREAT BOOK."

Pooja Dadlani, Surgical Technologist, Scituate, Mass.

"A TREASURE OF INSPIRATION, expressed sincerely...WILL TOUCH EVERY HEART AND SOUL."

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